Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
What drink are we having for lunch?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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