my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I woke up under a house in Key West
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