From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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