nutella sex= disaster
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize