On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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