I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
