I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Did I show you my penis last night?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
