yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
