it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
