i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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