i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
