there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
