I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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