that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
