I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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