i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
