Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
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I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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