There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize