do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
