bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
