my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize