belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
