We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
