Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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