soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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