Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Randomize
