She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i dont even know how to be here
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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