you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
