Yo dont text me then not text me
Small penises have feelings too.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
