I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize