Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
