Buhtt sex?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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