Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
