I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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