HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize