Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize