Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize