do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
