Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
my poor anus
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
