he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
