These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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