Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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