No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
