it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
