i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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