walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize