I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize