"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
