I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
