Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
