Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
