Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
