i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
