I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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