Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
