Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
