If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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