I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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