I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
