My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
