He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
