you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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