Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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