Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
