She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize