i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
